Tag Archives: gratitude

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for…

– having my own car
– kisses from lily
– boundaries
– reviving my electric blanket
– chats with my sister lying on my bed
– the block being back on tv
– my psychologist turning the lights out because the brightness hurts my eyes
– quiet hours
– getting paid
– trusting, and being trusted
– tentative planning for a sisterly roadtrip down the great ocean road
– that first cup of tea of the day
– paw paw ointment
– red capsicum & fresh rice noodles

– this sky.

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for:

– my incredibly comfortable and warm bed when it’s cold outside
– amazing online resources
– and having access to them
– having friends who text me just to check whether I’ve gotten out of bed
– (and then understand and empathise when I explain how difficult it is)
– feeling less alone
– being able to share opportunities for change with others
– being part of an amazing organisation making real change for young people
– a quote from a young person on a forum we ran on challenging negative thinking tonight – “I’m EXCITED to change my negative thinking”
– pulling some things out of my cupboard to take away to work next week, and the fact that the idea of going to work makes me excited (yes I have a wonderful job)
– my kitten keeping my feet warm
– the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day, and I will try again

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for:

– a week off uni to catch up on assignments
– blue skies yesterday, today and hopefully over the weekend
– five kookaburras on the pool fence this morning
– getting a few hours of decent sleep last night
– delicious cous cous salad for lunch
– getting to catch up with a friend tonight
– preparing to make easter cupcakes for this weekend
– clean sheets
– living so close to the water, & in the midst of the bush

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

– a psychologist who listens and sympathises as I whinge about the health system
– baking as distress tolerance
– a big kitchen to cook in (I made raspberry white chocolate and lime & coconut cupcakes)
– having several friends within a 100m radius of my house to share cupcakes with
– my sister taking the day off work so I had someone at home with me
– madagascan vanilla tea
– my hair growing
– waking up in my own comfortable bed with my teddy and my kitten
– a day without rain
– new wilco and phoenix mix cd in the car

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

– my kitten & watching her excitement at a new paper bag to rip apart
– a comfortable bed and an electric blanket
– new sponges on my windscreen wipers

Not much today.

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

– Getting half an hours sleep in this morning
– Greek yoghurt with mango & museli for breakfast
– Two lovely girls who I spoke to today at university
– First exam down!
– Getting to my exam building just before the rain started so I didn’t end up drenched walking across campus
– My sister buying me caramel Tim Tams as a post-exam treat
– My best friend texting me constantly, despite being out of the country at the moment
– A friend photocopying a whole heap of practice exams for me because I’ve been struggling with statistics
– Blueberries on sale at my local supermarket
– One of my neighbours dropping over a cute card to tell us they’re having a party on Saturday night
– My kitten currently sleeping under my doona
– Friends starting blogs 🙂
– Getting a nap in this afternoon before continuing studying
– It’s forecast to rain all night, so hopefully I will get to lie in bed tonight and listen to it (bonus if it storms)

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Day 17: Someone from your childhood

Day 17: 30 letters in 30 days

J

I like to think that wherever you are, you can see this. See all of us, all the people you helped. I remember your office. Two pictures of cats on the wall, the uncomfortable blue chair, the tiny plastic figurines on your windowsill. Every week, for five years. I can’t begin to thank you enough. C called me last year, to tell me that you had died. I felt like I had no right to be upset, and maybe I don’t. But I’m grieving the idea that I wish you could know that I’m doing okay now, that I’m not that broken girl anymore. Perhaps it is irrelevant, but I just wish that I could go there, wherever you are, and say, thankyou for trying to help me, things were pretty shit then and they still get like that now but I’m here. I’m still alive. And I think that’s more than either of us imagined. I know I didn’t talk much to you, I know you tried so hard. You tried so hard & I fought back just as intensely, sitting staring at the floor, refusing to say a word. Thank you. Thank you, never enough.

I hope you can see things from where you are now. How much as changed. I hope you feel fulfilled to know all the people you helped, and all the people you tried to help, and maybe they didn’t let you, but a lot of them have probably turned out okay too. I hope you can see it all and I hope you are at peace. I think about you often. You were one of the first to see that anything was wrong. I was twelve, and called to your office. I don’t even remember what we talked about – I probably didn’t talk at all. But you knew. All through high school, all the outside therapy and medication and hospitals and doctors, you were always there as the constant. You always called me when I was in hospital. You went to my house and dropped off work to my parents because you knew I was going crazy in hospital having nothing to do. There’s so many things I wish I could say to you, but it all comes back to the same sentiment: thank you.

It still hurts. That someone who only ever tried to help me and my family, who only ever tried to help everyone that she came into contact with is gone from the world. That it was so sad that you came into my life when I was too unhappy to see how much of a beautifully positive and spiritual person you were and to let you help me in that way, especially because there must have been so many like me that you didn’t penetrate. I hope that didn’t trouble you too much. There is nothing that can be underestimated about the amount you impacted upon my life.

I want you to know that I’m doing okay. I don’t say this to be arrogant, I just want you to know. I know you cared, not just because it was your job, but that you genuinely cared. I didn’t realise it back then, but I do now. Everyone I spoke to at the funeral reminded me. Teachers, telling me how much you had genuinely been invested in my health. That you’d always be asking after me, how I was, was I okay in class? Because I wouldn’t talk about what was wrong. But you cared about my life. You cared that I stayed alive.

Thank you again, and again, and again. I’m sure there are people everywhere thinking the same things. People who have shared their hearts with you, confessions, secrets. I never told you mine. Where you are now, you can see. And I hope you never felt like you ‘failed’ me, because you didn’t. You kept me going when the threads of my life were coming apart.

Thank you. From a heart hurt, but healing…not ‘but’. And. From a heart hurt, and healing. It’s a long road, but I hope that I can be like you – that I can have that influence on the lives of children and young people. You were an amazing woman, and I will never forget that.

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Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

– Having amazing friends who are happy to sit and drink tea in silence
– The opportunity to study and to have access to an incredible library (with couches and beanbags)
– Having my drivers license and not having to get the train and walk in the rain today
– Knowing that despite things being hard at the moment, I can and will get through this
– My beautiful kitten who follows me around and cries when she wants me to pick her up for cuddles
– Knowing some super inspiring people and having long philosophical discussions with them today
– Finding Coke Zero with vanilla (I didn’t even know it existed!)
– My wonderful best friend who continues to give me boy advice even though she’s not currently in the country
– One of my lecturers who has offered to give some friends and I a crash course in statistics, free of charge
– My bed.

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