I am not coping. I need help. I have no idea who to talk to, who to ask. I seem to have lost all capability to get out of bed, get dressed, let alone pick up a phone or sit across from a doctor. I have friends, but not friends that I can call to come when I’m sobbing in bed and need someone to sit on my hands and keep me from myself.
It’s scary how fast things slide. At the moment I just want to fade out of the world and disappear. I’m so fucking ashamed that I’m here again. Last night I kept biting on my hands while driving (fast, too fast) to stop me from screaming through my sobs. I need sleep. I can’t do this.
Choice. 
Please don’t be ashamed. There is no shame in where you are right now.
I can’t pretend to fully understand what’s happening to you, but you will make it through. You have before and you will again. I don’t know what else to say, but if there’s anything I can do, please let me know. Sending you all the positivity in the world, and stay as strong as you can. You are an incredible, amazing, inspiring human being. xx
Please, can you contact your psychologist or your GP or someone? Worried about you. 😦 Let me know if I can do anything to help xx